ampage Tech Humor


Jake 7/17/100 5:58 am 50 0
So this kid comes into my shop and asks if I could possibly fix a distortion pedal for him. I say, "Well, that depends on what it is and what's wrong with it." He said it was an Ibanez Tube Screamer Reissue pedal. I said, "Bring it in, I'll take a look."
Right then he drops (with a thud) this supermarket plastic bag on my counter tied in a knot. "Here it is"
I opened the bag and asked "What the hell is that smell?" He said that he had read on the internet that keeping such devices in the freezer is the way Eddie Van Halen gets his sound. And this teen has been doing this for about 4 months now with great results; until they blew a fuse in the kitchen and the meat defrosted and dripped all over his gear. (He also freezes his cords)
I had no idea what to say. I asked him what kind of guitar and amp he uses to get that EVH tone with as well and where he stores them.. He said he uses a Hamer through a Dan Torres modded SFDR. I told him he was doing it all wrong and should soak this pedal in car brake cleaner overnight and keep that amp in the fridge..The freezer is just to hard on thos hot rods, that's what happened to Eddie's amp!!!
He grabbed his stuff and quickly headed for the door. And before leaving, he turns and literally screams at me, "GET YOUR OWN MONKEY!!" And then he left.
Another satisfied customer. A weird one.

Some_Guy 7/20/100 3:59 am 27 0
You know you're gone too far when you've actually trimmed your nails with your wire cutters... they do a good job, though!

Don Symes 7/25/100 4:46 pm 16 0
MusicYo! is opening up a special Klezmer-only subsidiary called MusicOy!

Um... sorry.

j.w.(nos.nib) 8/7/100 11:35 pm 12 0
i work on amps for several music stores and every kid hired is a amp expert one guy who had em all fooled thinking him the top cat of tome and the metro of retro came up to me one day and said j i need you to put a grounded plug on my old fender vibro it has a two prong and it has a very bad hum you think you could do that i said yes . he said i wonder why it hums like that i said ever think of switching the polarity switch ( brain surgen) du !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

miracle repairs by amp psychics 555-GOOB 8/20/100 1:29 am 36 0
I looked all over and by Gawd, I couldn't find at least one single long-tailed tube ANYWHERE! No one, I mean NO one is selling long tailed tubes, and no tremolo tubes either! And I sho don't have any and who makes them?! Guess I'm not up on the latest technology. Don't call about stuff like that, it requires me to look up the password to your future.

Garsh, if there were only more non-tech musicians who pick up on buzzwords on the net, then I could retire.

it's that prank time of the year 10/19/100 1:00 am 45 0
Here's a neat trick to get ready for the next time a customer comes in with a set of new mail-order tubes for you to install in his amp and bias.

Start saving all the blown tubes from previous repairs that customers don't want to keep and store them in the boxes your replacement tubes came in. Then store all of 'em in a big cardboard box with the top cut off. In other words, make it look like it's some of your tube inventory.

Then when a customer comes in with his mail-order tubes, take out your "inventory" and smash it to the floor and scream, "I guess these are #@*&'% worthless!"

Freak out man, freak out

Jack Valentine 11/4/100 11:39 am 29 0
While in a music store in Athens Georgia a man comes in and asks to be shown an amp. The salesman asks him what type of amp he needed. The man had a confused look on his face so the salesman tried to clarify by asking do you play lead or bass. The customer finaly realized what he was being asked and with a straight face said "you know lead bass!"


ampage Tech Humor